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Animated Atrocities 127/Transcript
You know how Teen Titans Go! made an episode called "Let's Get Serious"... Robin: Nighttime is the most serious time to fight crime. Which was used to address the critics of the show and everyone hated it because it insulted the critics of the show? Well, after that, they made an episode called "The Return of Slade", which was used to address the critics of the show and everyone hated it because it insulted the critics of the show. Raven: And it wasn't just the fight that was amazing, in the end, so many compelling storylines came together, and resolved in such a satisfying way! Starfire: A perfect balance of the action and drama, along with light moments of the comedy! Then, they made an episode called "The 4th Wall", which was used to address the critics of the show and everyone hated it because it insulted the critics of the show. Control Freak: These Teen Titans were about character development, drama, and heart! Robin: I used to be so much cooler! Well, uh, fourth time's the charm, right? intro With 4 episodes, this has officially become a genre of Teen Titans Go! episodes. They're gonna do this at least once a season. Some shows have musical episodes that happen once in a while; some shows give the limelight to characters who don't get that much screen time. Teen Titans Go! have episodes where they insult the detractors of the show. Control Freak: Supposed to bring you awards and respect to the entertainment industry. Instead, everyone thinks it's garbage! And I-I do want to point something out, because this is a misconception that's been really prevalent on the Internet. Some people believe that defending yourself from criticism is the same thing as ignoring criticism or outright rejecting it. Those 2 things are not the same thing. There is a way to respectfully reject criticism, or at least take it in stride. But this show doesn't really do that. Instead of just moving on and doing what you want to do, the show builds towering monoliths to "Lalala, I'm not listening". I already reviewed one of these episodes, "The Return of Slade", which was incredibly insulting. Beast Boy: Well, it's too bad people will never see any of it. Cyborg: No! That's a good thing bro. It was just. Too. Epic! I think that even people who like the show, don't find it the best of episodes. I'll link the review, but to paraphrase: the show had a painfully obvious metaphor that cartoons were only for kids, and that the audience should grow up and move on. Even though, the original Teen Titans was more adult-oriented than Teen Titans Go! And the fact that there are ''animations for adults out there that have gotten a lot of popularity. And then there's the fact that kids ''can enjoy darker shows. And there's also the fact that it's possible to entertain both kids and adults with the same product. [clip of The Iron Giant plays] And, you know, there are a lot of reasons. However, I think that this episode in particular is worse than "The Return of Slade", at least in execution. You know, at least there were people who were complaining that Teen Titans Go! wasn't serious enough, or that Teen Titans Go! wasn't like the original Teen Titans. In this episode, they go after the complaint that Teen Titans Go! doesn't teach morals. Raven: That looks like your handwriting. Ignoring the fact that they have tried to teach morals, both sarcastic morals and morals in earnest, I don't know any critic, hater, moral guardian, or troll, who has demanded that the show teaches morals. Woman: Won't someone please think of the children?! I know that I specifically have asked them to never teach morals again after episodes like "Boys vs. Girls", and "The Return of Slade", but let's see what they got for us. The show has surprised me before. Who knows? It might surprise me again. The episode starts with Robin complaining about a suggestion box. Robin: It has come to my attention that you have not been using the new "suggestion box". Sorry, my bad; I filled it up with papers reading "get cancelled". I don't think that anyone else could fit anything in there. Robin: "Robin stinks" is not a suggestion! Also my bad! Starfire: Those are the suggestions from us. Robin: The whole reason for the suggestion box is to have a thoughtful way to address the flaws in in the Teen Titans. Which is why this show never had a suggestion box, does not have a suggestion box, and will never, ever, ever have a suggestion box, ever. Robin: Anonymous has suggested that the leader of the Teen Titans, Robin, that would be me, should teach more life lessons. I honestly don't get this episode. If you do read the off-screen interviews, the writers claim that they feel like cartoons shouldn't be forced to teach a moral after every episode. But that doesn't make any sense if you watch cartoons. Most cartoons today do not end with morals; I could probably name a handful that do. But other than that, we got shows like Gumball ''and Uncle Grandpa. Adventure Time. Regular Show''. They have lessons occasionally, but that wasn't the purpose of every single episode. [clip of Gumball plays] It's like the only other cartoon they know about that currently exists is My Little Pony. Starfire: May I suggest the teaching of the lesson regarding the value of friendship? Even the original Teen Titans didn't end most episodes with morals, and nobody demanded that it did. Cartoons around that era didn't end in morals either. Ed, Edd, n Eddy, Courage the Cowardly Dog, Kids Next Door, Powerpuff Girls; they were all on around that time and they only occasionally went out of their way to teach morals. I really don't get this one. This is especially perplexing because some of the writers for the show worked on Mad, another cartoon that didn't go out of its way to teach lessons. So we have Beast Boy trying to be friends with the cool kids. They want him to graffiti on the walls. But that would be destroying property. And the Teen Titans never destroy property, ever. [Cut to Starfire destroying buildings in Teen Titans] The gang accept Beast Boy as their friend and you've known that this was bullshit ever since the segment started. Jokes don't work when the audience predicts the punchline before you can get to it, and even kids could see this coming. Now here's where this show fails on a fundamental level, and I think I know where they're coming from. Starfire: You look like you could use the friend. Beast Boy: You guys aren't mad at me ditching you to hang out with the cool rollerblading dudes? Raven: Nah. We know how to roll''er-blade with the punches It confuses learning a lesson with character development. While the 2 often coincide, they are ''not the same thing. In kid shows, for instance, you do often get morals where the characters learn not to steal or tell lies. But the point is, at the end of the story, the kids are better people and characters because of it. Or they're taken down because of their refusal to become better characters. However, this also applies to learning about your own failures and limitations, overcoming obstacles, and accomplishing things that you've never been able to before. Starfire: I am not so little anymore! Every episode of Teen Titans Go! I've seen, neglects this. "They're perfect and it's the world around them that needs to change!" Spongebob is frequently a good comparison piece to Teen Titans Go! The episode "Pizza Delivery" for instance; it's a classic episode. At the start of the episode, Squidward is constantly annoyed by Spongebob's antics, as they get lost in the desert. But Squidward develops as a character and actually stands up for Spongebob at the end of the episode. There's no morals about sticking up for people because that would be preachy, but the story is entirely functional because it has character development. Teen Titans Go! is saying, "Look at how boring it would be if we told morals", while confusing morals with character development. It comes across as "These characters and this show is not gonna change. The world needs to change instead." As I've said before, no one, and I mean no one, wants Teen Titans Go! to teach morals. Good God, if any kid actually took half of what the show said seriously, that would be horrifying! What everyone wants from the show is character development. Beast Boy: There has to be a way to get rid of these people! Or at the very least, to stop doing this kind of episode and actually, you know, be funny! Not Odysseus-level character development, but, at the end of the story, at least one character should be in a different place than when they started. You know, on the inside! It's a basic part of storytelling. Also, we've got 8 minutes of this show to go. You wanna know what the rest of this episode is about? Robin: How to buy rental property as a long-term investment! HE IS NOT KIDDING! The rest of this episode goes into excruciating detail about how to get equity. Cyborg: I don't even know what that means! I have so many problems with this. What is the most obvious excuse given to this show's flaws? That's right: Teen Titans Go! is for kids. Then why is so much of the show aimed at adults who don't like the show and, at this point, have probably given up watching the show by now? I watch the show because it's super easy to rip and perfect fodder to practice my commentary on. Also, Cartoon Network airs it 4 hours a day, so the 'Don't Like, Don't Watch' argument kind of doesn't work here. But what are episodes like this really supposed to do for any kids? You know, the ones they claim to be writing for? I mean, on an absolutely serious level, kids can't do anything with advice about equity. That-that's obvious; you know it, I know it, the show knows it. But this more-or-less becomes anti-humor. One thing kids tend to lack is patience. So do you really think that they'd enjoy waiting for 8 minutes for something to, you know, happen, while the episode constantly keeps saying that it's boring? There are many, many reasons that these critic call-out episodes are bad; even if you like the show. To enjoy one of these critic call-out episodes, you need to: # Enjoy watching the show in general. # Be aware of the critics and detractors. (Which is more unlikely for the target audience that they claim to be aiming for.) # You need to disagree with the criticism that's being displayed and agree with their method of tackling it. # You need to be okay with them avoiding doing what you like with the show to blast people that you don't agree with and you don't listen to. That is a very rare combination! Usually shows that go after a niche audience of like, 5 people fail. But I guess Teens Titans Go! is special. Beast Boy: '''We bought a whole building, yo! This is just a minor nitpick though, but the Teen Titans are teenagers; at least, I think. This means they're all likely under 18. That means that they can't legally sign contracts. Which means that they can't buy rental property. '''Robin: '''Not yet. We still need to find financing. '''Beast Boy: Financing? Stop using words that don't make any sense! "What I'm doing is boring, I know it's boring, kids don't like things that are boring, but I'm going to do it anyway! Even though I'm aiming for kids." The 'It's for kids' defense can't really work when you're ditching kids to specifically talk to someone else. Just between you and me, I actually think that the show has quite a bit of contempt for its target audience. By the way, there is a way to make teaching business and equity to kids, and make it fun. They already exist. They're called business simulation games! Like Recettear and Roller Coaster Tycoon! So here's how the Teen Titans want to teach you about equity! First of all, find the shittiest place you can; which is the wrong thing to do because it usually costs more money to fix the building than the building is actually worth. Then you scam the people you know to pay for the building. Robin: Or, we can do what everyone else does: ask someone who's already put in the hard work and effort. phone Hello, Batman? I'm going to need some money to build a crime-fighting lab. Wait; you do know Bruce Wayne. Then what was that thing about saying Scrooge McDuck was the richest person you know? points out that Scrooge is richer than Bruce Wait, what? Scrooge McDuck is actually richer than Bruce Wayne. Well, shit. Robin: It's all boring! But fun at the same time. Raven: But mostly boring. You know that kids don't like boring things, right? That's-that's why they watch cartoons. The purpose of cartoons is usually to be not boring. I mean, that's the basic idea, right? It's like they're telling kids, "Yeah, we're gonna make your show suck because of random people on the Internet you don't know about and can't do anything about. So screw you!" And that's why this episode is particularly detestable. It's not so much that it's calling out its critics, but it's abandoning its audience to do so. Then the Teen Titans get attacked by dogs. Didn't we have a-- ahem, a lesson! -- where we learn that you should just shirk your responsibility and do whatever? On the level where they're talking to critics, the episode is obviously even worse. They don't wanna teach lessons because they think that it would make the episode boring. Okay? Never ever teach a lesson again! Stop making episodes like "Boys vs. Girls" ''and ''"Return of Slade", ''and ''"Books", ''and ''"Knowledge", ''and ''"Head Fruit", ''and ''"Sandwich Thief", ''and ''"Lazy Sunday", ''and ''"The Best Robin", ''and ''"Leg Day", ''and ''"Artful Dodgers", AND STOP DOING THIS! You don't wanna teach lessons? THEN DON'T! Just fucking don't! It's an easy thing to not do, but you keep doing it even though you don't want to, and you keep fucking it up! And I know. I know that most of these quote-unquote lessons are supposed to be sarcastic, spoof aesops, or supposed to be jokes. But that's not the point here! Ignoring my previous points, the kids in their target age range are still developing their sense of sarcasm, and they teach serious and sarcastic morals in exactly the same way. The show is saying, 'Stop making me do something', when it's doing something that people wanted to stop. Or even worse, it's doing something that they don't care about. And that's even ignoring lessons that they want you to take seriously, like "Return of Slade". Never teach a lesson ever again! You're bad at it! Then the Teen Titans start filling in paperwork. Starfire: You said we would be doing the fun activities. Every scene after they start trying to build equity is exactly the same: Robin wants to do something boring, then the Teen Titans say that it's boring. End scene. All the way up to the end! Raven: ... .Something interesting! Robin: Sadly, no. Today's just important information. Don't worry: I promise you this will all lead to a very satisfying end. Very satisfying... It'd better be, or it'll be your end. And trust me: that will be satisfying. screaming So now the Teen Titans have to be landlords. Robin: It means the tenants in this building are paying below market value for these apartments! Considering the appearance of the building, I have to wonder how they're paying below zero dollars. Then they say that it would be illegal to evict the tenants in the building. Robin: That's technically illegal. Renters have rights. Unfortunately. So they decide to forcefully evict all of the tenants. montage Robin: Hi. I'm Robin of the Teen Titans. I know we've had a lot of laughs today, but planning for your future is no joke. Yeah, this is specifically why I don't want anyone on this show to teach morals ever; you can never tell whether someone is being sarcastic or they're just a serious mouthpiece. Robin: It takes decades to actually build equity. Not really. All you need to do is take a cartoon from 10 years ago, remake it as cheap as possible, and then play it as much as possible! That seems to work very well for some reason. "Don't like the show, don't watch it." Teen Titans Go! All Thanksgiving Weekend on loop. Don't really have a choice. Nickelodeon doesn't even go that far with Spongebob! Robin: But, in 30 years, it will provide a modest cash flow to pay for our numerous old people medications! I thought like, all realtors lost their jobs like, a decade ago when the housing market crashed. Then the episode ends on this. Robin: Hi. I'm Robin of the Teen Titans. I know we've had a lot of laughs today, but planning for your future is no joke. For more information about investing in rental property, visit your library, or talk to a local realtor. And surely that is the most insulting part about the episode! What was the lesson? "This is what critiquing the show will get you." Or that "educational cartoons are always 100% boring"? This was a boring episode that not only insults the detractors, but the people who actually like the show. It's just a slap in the face. It doesn't matter if you're a critic of the show, or if you watch the show everyday, blissfully unaware of its criticism. Hell, this might turn kids off of morals in better shows. Which is disgusting. If you are a detractor of the show, you should know why this episode is insulting. If you're actually into the show, this episode spends about 8 minutes being purposely boring to, I guess, educate you on something you most likely don't care about. Either you're interested in equity and you already know more than this episode teaches you, or you're not and this isn't going to convince you. And it's not trying to, either. It's actually trying to do the opposite. But what makes this episode more baffling than the other 'attack the critics!' episodes is the criticism that they're going against. "Let's Get Serious" was more understandable; people did want a more serious Teen Titans. That was a criticism that actually existed. "Return of Slade" was similar; there are some people who do get blinded by nostalgia. There's an argument to be made. I'm not defending those episodes. Obviously. But there was at least an argument to be made! I don't know anyone who's ever demanded that this show -- this show! -- ''teach messages. No one has actively demanded kid shows to teach morals since the 80s. Oh my god. It's not the detractors of the show that are being nostalgia-blind, it's the show itself! This is what they think cartoons are! '''GI Joe': And knowing is half the battle. [GI Joe theme plays] This is cartoons to them: they were stories that entertain kids, but they're hard for adults to come back to. And yes, Standards and Practices demanded each episode to end with a moral. I don't why I didn't see this before; it's so obvious! I said it before: it's their logic that originally plunged animation into a dark age. But, cartoons have taken so many turns and evolutions since the 80s. Cartoons got edgier, they took more and more risks, Standards and Practices loosened, they dropped the need for morals, and they started to appeal to adults as well as kids. And the pattern continued. It petered out in the 2000s but, nowadays, the people who grew up in the era when cartoons spoke to everyone, kids and adults alike, are making cartoons of their own. The philosophies behind "Return of Slade" and "Finally A Lesson", are anachronistic. Simply put, they're ideas that have died. And rightfully so. As talented people explore what animation could do and pushed against the status quo. Nowadays, well first of all, there is animation specifically aimed at adults. And there have been for over 20 years now. Watching "Return of Slade", it'd be like the writers don't realize that but, beyond that, take a look at the landscape of animation in the past 5 years. How many of them are less than a day shows? Good ones, like Gravity Falls, ''didn't go out of their way to teach lessons; bad ones, like ''Fish Hooks, didn't go out of their way to teach lessons; shows somewhere in the middle didn't go out of their way to teach lessons! The only ones that went out of their way to teach lessons were ones specifically built for that. Let me put it this way: if the attitude behind this episode grew up 10 years earlier, they'd be making an episode complaining that the critics are saying that they're not solving mysteries with their talking animal sidekick! Category:Transcripts Category:Season 5